back of the tongue

I clench my teeth,
not let it go,
it's mine, and pure,
smothering, comforting;
warm glow, - in my sinking self;
comes in flashes, endless reruns,
slime on my skin,
taste in my throat,
my world evolves,
in layers of sediment;
an eternal now,
within my eyelids,
volcanoes bloom,
in slow succession,
freeze and flow,
and flicker and dance;
one with matter,
my essence waits,
for not a ripple,
in silent haze;
shame/remorse/hate and fear,
swirl in blobs,
kaleidoscopically play,
I wait to crumble,
and liberate;
dust to dust,
desires to ashes,
the cage opens,
to let in the world;
the mist, the fog,
the chill is me,
crawling numbly,
to eternity.